What is blocking you?

One of the biggest problems I find with self-help is that it doesn't properly address what is blocking you from success.  It only tells you positive messages and inspiration without the realities that are holding you back.

For example the self-help message may tell me to do what feels joyful to me.  Let's say that would be for me to go ask someone out on a date.  The problem is that I may not actually feel capable of achieving that if I am insecure.  So then the positive message hits a wall and that's it.  The positive message is only helpful to someone who is in a minor set-back, but often does not address someone who is in a major problem.

One must face the harshness of reality.  When there is a problem, the problem usually needs to be fixed.  One cannot just ignore it and hope that it goes away, otherwise you probably wouldn't be concerned about it anyway.  From my experience, it seems that most of the time I must learn the necessary skill or lesson to deal with the set-back.  Being effective means dealing with reality.

Long Books

I find most books to be a very inefficient use of my time.  I don't understand why things aren't just written succinctly.  Instead of spending 5 hours reading through a book that might have 3 good ideas, I could simply spend 1 minute going over the 3 ideas and see if I can implement it.  But of course the business model of selling books means that people like to buy thick books.  They don't want to spend money on 1 minute of content.  Instead they'd rather waste 5 hours extracting a few ideas that they could learn in a small fraction of that time.

When I get a book, I try to think of what actionable item I can take away from it and apply in my life.  I try my best not to waste time learning intellectual knowledge that does not help my life.  Now if you want to read for entertainment or the joy of reading, then great.  But if you are reading a book to try to apply lessons to better your life, then why waste time?  The only exception I can think of is if you want to be a writer or learn the language, then reading could help with that.  Otherwise, I just want it to get to the point.  I apply and see if it works.

The Title of the Blog Says It All

Self help doesn't work.  It's a waste of time.

My life feels like a routine.  Just the same thing over and over again.  It's not all bad, but it feels as if I am trapped in some kind of purgatory.

My career, my social life, my health, they are all in need of improvement.

I am getting sick and tired of all the positive thinking crap out there to try to "inspire" change.  I think that only works if your life is already pretty good and you need a minor boost.  If you are in a rut with deeply ingrained problems or habits, "thinking positive" probably won't work.

Me being stuck at a job I don't like is not going to solve itself by listening to self-help positive thinking.  Yes, I can make life better by being focused on the task at hand and not dwell on the "story" of why it sucks, but that only changes so much.  It can make a terrible job more tolerable, but it still isn't fulfilling.  It's the same with my social life and health.

This blog is for people who have also felt jilted by the ineffectiveness of the self help industry or the new age spiritual industry or formal education or any institution really that claims to be bettering people when they aren't doing it well.  I also think there is self-help fraud going on where you basically have someone who can talk or write well and sucker people into doing things that are either ineffective or won't give them any real fulfillment.

It's also for me to highlight the changes I will make in my own life to break out of the constant cycle of doing the same things over and over again.  It's also about trying to figure out a solution.  It's one thing to know that I'm doing something wrong, it's quite another to replace it with something productive.