One of the biggest problems I find with self-help is that it doesn't properly address what is blocking you from success. It only tells you positive messages and inspiration without the realities that are holding you back.
For example the self-help message may tell me to do what feels joyful to me. Let's say that would be for me to go ask someone out on a date. The problem is that I may not actually feel capable of achieving that if I am insecure. So then the positive message hits a wall and that's it. The positive message is only helpful to someone who is in a minor set-back, but often does not address someone who is in a major problem.
One must face the harshness of reality. When there is a problem, the problem usually needs to be fixed. One cannot just ignore it and hope that it goes away, otherwise you probably wouldn't be concerned about it anyway. From my experience, it seems that most of the time I must learn the necessary skill or lesson to deal with the set-back. Being effective means dealing with reality.
For example the self-help message may tell me to do what feels joyful to me. Let's say that would be for me to go ask someone out on a date. The problem is that I may not actually feel capable of achieving that if I am insecure. So then the positive message hits a wall and that's it. The positive message is only helpful to someone who is in a minor set-back, but often does not address someone who is in a major problem.
One must face the harshness of reality. When there is a problem, the problem usually needs to be fixed. One cannot just ignore it and hope that it goes away, otherwise you probably wouldn't be concerned about it anyway. From my experience, it seems that most of the time I must learn the necessary skill or lesson to deal with the set-back. Being effective means dealing with reality.
